Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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