So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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