do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I yelled at your uterus for you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
