we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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