Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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