I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
