Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
