I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
farters have to be the big spoon...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
