We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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