We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
