i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
