I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Text me some of your sweat
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
