I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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