mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
