she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
