i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
