he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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