i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
