I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
