i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
