Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
