Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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