dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
