do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
