This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
