Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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