He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
