is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
