You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
