Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Rumble strips road head = magical
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
