I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
