Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
