yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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