You're completely useless in the revolution.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
