Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
should my penis look like a turkey
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
