Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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