Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
