The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
