margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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