Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
