He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
