she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
