i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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