If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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