we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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