She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
