You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
