Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize