have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize