umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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