ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
accomplished twins. life is a go
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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