Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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