porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
