i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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