Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
