this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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