He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
