talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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