Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize