Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
