My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
