its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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