I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
