Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize