She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
