its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Randomize