how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
